By Ray Hanania
The Jerusalem Post (Israel)
September 7, 2009
In spite of all the news Palestinians and Israelis produce each day, we really are pretty boring people. I mean, we have nothing on the Japanese.
The big news in Japan last week is that Miyuki Hatoyama, wife of incoming Prime Minister Yukio Hatoyama, says she traveled to Venus in the 1970s in a UFO. She's talking about the planet, not a 'happy place' or the local beauty spa.
Mrs. Hatoyama detailed the unusual trip in her book called Most Bizarre Things I've Encountered.
I have racked my brain to think of anything that even comes close to that in the many stories about Palestinians and Israelis.
There was a rumor once that during the peace process (remember that?), Yasser Arafat and Yitzhak Rabin wagered at the roulette table at the Jericho casino. Arafat offered Rabin double or nothing on "returning" the West Bank.
IN TRUTH, most of the stories about Palestinians and Israelis are about tragedies, missed opportunities, name-calling, the blame game and, sadly, continued violence.
I did read an Israeli press release reporting that a Palestinian prisoner in one of the country's many prisons had been killed by a "nonlethal weapon." I could only imagine what might have happened had the weapon been lethal.
On another occasion, Hamas leaders tried to explain that Martyr Mouse was merely an orphaned cartoon character whose family had been blown up by Israeli cartoon characters during a siege at a cartoon checkpoint near a cartoon settlement. And the mouse suffered from a slight lisp that distorted everything it said.
When Martyr Mouse urged kiddies to "do their best to kill the Jews," all it was trying to tell young Palestinians who watch Hamas television was to "do their best to fill the news." It must work, because Hamas does "fill the news."
Still, it would be kind of cool if we could get Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu to set aside all the heavy problems and talk about some of his own unusual experiences.
I can see Netanyahu, cold and calculating as only a prime minister could be, playing a wildly romantic character in a Hollywood movie. For all his hard-lining, some Palestinian women have compared him to the late Paul Newman.
The same Palestinian women have told me they think Palestinian Authority President Mahmoud Abbas reminds then of Mahatma Gandhi, the fearless and nonviolent leader of India. Of course, there isn't any salt to fight over in Palestine like there is in India. And while Gandhi used to gum his own leather into soft shirts and wraps, Abbas leaves all the cooking to the women.
Still, neither has ever taken a trip to another planet. Nor have they been kidnapped by aliens.
Although come to think of it, I wonder how Palestinians and Israelis might react if a UFO landed atop the wall (fence, barricade, whatever) and declared that the Holy Land belonged to them and they wanted it back.
DO YOU think that might be enough to push Palestinians and Israelis to join together against someone besides each other? Everyone says that if Palestinians and Israelis could just resolve their conflict, they could become the most powerful combined force in the Middle East.
Sadly, Palestinians and Israelis are not as lucky. All we have is run-of-the-mill conflict. Anger. Hatred. Violence.
Nothing unusual, strange or hard to believe, like visiting Venus in a spaceship.
We can only hope, though.
The writer is a columnist, stand-up comedian and Chicago radio talk show host. You can hear his program every afternoon at 16:00pm Israel time on-line at www.RadioChicagoland.com.
Showing posts with label Palestinian politics. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Palestinian politics. Show all posts
Monday, September 7, 2009
Monday, August 24, 2009
Hamas Official: We Should Learn Lessons - Not Delude Ourselves That We Won the War
Middle East Media Research Institute (MEMRI)
August 24, 2009, No. 2502
Senior Hamas official Ghazi Hamad, who in the past has not been reticent in criticizing his movement, wrote in a July 1, 2009 article on paltoday.com that the Arabs and Palestinians must stop depicting their defeats as victories — referring primarily to Hamas's claim that it won the December 2008 Gaza war. Hamad also called on the Arabs to establish investigative commissions like Israel does. [www.paltoday.com, July 1, 2009]
The following are excerpts from his article:
"We Act out of a Partisan Strategy"
"It is always important to call things by their name, so that we do not blindly follow pompous slogans, fall victim to illusions, and then be shocked by reality. We really want victory over Israel. [We want] to defeat this hateful occupation and see it in retreat, under siege, and obliterated — but we want the facts and figures to speak for themselves.
"We do not want emotions and pompous slogans to push aside and take the place of facts, robbing them of their power to persuade [us] and to change the painful reality. Emotion and excitement, slogans, raucous voices, and rallies cannot create real victory — [only] an illusory victory.
"[We should remember] that Israel is not a weak state, but a state with material means, intelligence apparatuses, and international support, and it can handle many challenges. Thus, dealing with it demands immense effort, precise planning, and persistent activity, proportionate to the degree of danger [it poses].
"The need is not for improvisation or for [mere] reaction, because this path gives Israel supremacy in most arenas of the military and political conflict. It is clear that since its establishment, Israel has taken a permanent strategy (about which there is no dispute among Israel's political parties, despite the differences in their [political] inclinations). We, in contrast, act out of a partisan strategy, the main point of which is contradiction and bitter quarrels, not reconciliation or cooperation.
"For many decades, the Arabs have consistently made the mistake of falling for illusions. They deceived themselves and blindly followed nationalist slogans, raucous voices, and false justifications — until every claim to unity and steadfastness collapsed, and then all their strongholds and citadels collapsed [as well]."
We Called Our Defeats Victories
"...For years, we have been in a state of loss, living a life of illusory victory, until the small young state [Israel] dared to occupy Palestine, from the sea to the river. Then it bit off all of the Sinai, stole the Golan Heights from Syria, stole Lebanon's south, and stole part of Jordan's territory. Then, it destroyed the nuclear reactor in Iraq, and even infiltrated Tunisia by sea in order to harm the PLO leaders. Israel is still sowing mayhem and carrying out evil deeds.
"[All this time], we boasted of our glory and listened to raucous songs and revolutionary speeches that intoxicated us with the ecstasy of victory. Even when we sobered up and tasted the bitterness of reality, we became drunk on the song 'Where Are the Millions' [about the Arabs' failure to help the Palestinians].
To read the rest of the article, go to: http://www.memri.org/bin/latestnews.cgi?ID=SD250209
August 24, 2009, No. 2502
Senior Hamas official Ghazi Hamad, who in the past has not been reticent in criticizing his movement, wrote in a July 1, 2009 article on paltoday.com that the Arabs and Palestinians must stop depicting their defeats as victories — referring primarily to Hamas's claim that it won the December 2008 Gaza war. Hamad also called on the Arabs to establish investigative commissions like Israel does. [www.paltoday.com, July 1, 2009]
The following are excerpts from his article:
"We Act out of a Partisan Strategy"
"It is always important to call things by their name, so that we do not blindly follow pompous slogans, fall victim to illusions, and then be shocked by reality. We really want victory over Israel. [We want] to defeat this hateful occupation and see it in retreat, under siege, and obliterated — but we want the facts and figures to speak for themselves.
"We do not want emotions and pompous slogans to push aside and take the place of facts, robbing them of their power to persuade [us] and to change the painful reality. Emotion and excitement, slogans, raucous voices, and rallies cannot create real victory — [only] an illusory victory.
"[We should remember] that Israel is not a weak state, but a state with material means, intelligence apparatuses, and international support, and it can handle many challenges. Thus, dealing with it demands immense effort, precise planning, and persistent activity, proportionate to the degree of danger [it poses].
"The need is not for improvisation or for [mere] reaction, because this path gives Israel supremacy in most arenas of the military and political conflict. It is clear that since its establishment, Israel has taken a permanent strategy (about which there is no dispute among Israel's political parties, despite the differences in their [political] inclinations). We, in contrast, act out of a partisan strategy, the main point of which is contradiction and bitter quarrels, not reconciliation or cooperation.
"For many decades, the Arabs have consistently made the mistake of falling for illusions. They deceived themselves and blindly followed nationalist slogans, raucous voices, and false justifications — until every claim to unity and steadfastness collapsed, and then all their strongholds and citadels collapsed [as well]."
We Called Our Defeats Victories
"...For years, we have been in a state of loss, living a life of illusory victory, until the small young state [Israel] dared to occupy Palestine, from the sea to the river. Then it bit off all of the Sinai, stole the Golan Heights from Syria, stole Lebanon's south, and stole part of Jordan's territory. Then, it destroyed the nuclear reactor in Iraq, and even infiltrated Tunisia by sea in order to harm the PLO leaders. Israel is still sowing mayhem and carrying out evil deeds.
"[All this time], we boasted of our glory and listened to raucous songs and revolutionary speeches that intoxicated us with the ecstasy of victory. Even when we sobered up and tasted the bitterness of reality, we became drunk on the song 'Where Are the Millions' [about the Arabs' failure to help the Palestinians].
To read the rest of the article, go to: http://www.memri.org/bin/latestnews.cgi?ID=SD250209
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